having a step father

jimmy was a short over weight guy. He smoked Kent cigarettes and drank Budweiser beer and wore glasses that always slid down his nose. there was always a grease spot on the chair where his head rested on the back. They were married at a justice of the peace. Mom wore a flowered dress i remember with a big corsage.

mom asked me if I liked him and if it would be ok. she did this once before for the post man who delivered our mail. I think he was transferred to another route when people complained about the truck parked at the house. he, I didn’t feel anything for, no hint of a dad figure did he convey. jimmy however wasn’t just concerned about one thing he actually tried to be a dad. and that possibility came through when I first met him. so I excepted him on that perception of his character.

I was 15, and becoming a handful for my mom. making out with any girl who would and there where a lot. and smoking joints in school was the cool thing to do in  7th and 8th grade. jimmy had the sence to speak to me about sexual protection. scholastics was a joke. the teachers had no control. the  grammar teacher was  only there to make fun of, and she gave us alit of ammunition. I loved algebra though but I was always thinking one number and writing a different one.

jimmy worked as a dispatcher for a concrete delivery plant in largo florida. he at one time was a sheriff for the largo police. but one of the coolest things he did was wrestle. jimmy was one of the masked medics for world wrestling. this was some time ago but the memory for him was great. so every week he and I would get in his Comet car and drive to Tampa to see the wrestling. we would smoke on the way and eat peanuts while we enjoyed  the show.

Sundays mom, jimmy and i would visit jimmy’s mom in Tampa and sit out side in  lawn chairs and drink Budweiser and chat with her. she talked about jimmy singing amazing grace in church when they lived in Pensacola.

jimmy was married before as had mom. his daughter Linda came to live with us for a short spell. she did not have a wholesome effect on me. I enjoyed each moment with her but in the long run each sneaking moment was destructive. mom was starting to get the idea that I wasn’t as pure as I should and I can remember the concern in her ways.

this time period was when i got my first job working at Howard Johnson’s Restraunt. busing dishes were ok but for mr the coolest time was when all was cleaned up real late at night and the brought in the beer. I had too much one time and by the time I was driven home my head was spinning. jimmy knew exactly what happened. he had no sympathy just warning that actions have results. he also made sure I didn’t smoke in bed. knowing as he did that plenty of house fires are caused by falling asleep while having a lite cigarette.

i do think he wanted to punish me at times but my looking back perception is mom didn’t allow him too. he probably should have.

I cried a lot when he died a year later. I had been sent to a boarding school in Iowa, I was sent there because instead of punishment I got banishment from the bad elements that would have been a certain harm.

I came back for the funeral. but something was again lost to me. I  never  came back home again to live and  I guess I would never get to have a dad.


Perennial plant propogator for Creekhill nursery. Over 40 years of experience with lots of plants from foliage, cut flowers, seasonal potted plants, annuals and perennials. A plant geek and nerd, i am

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January 2013
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