Set a timer for ten minutes. Open a new post. Start the timer, and start writing. When the timer goes off, publish.
A card. The second from my coworkers in three months. They know i am in grief. im quiet and detached, and not focusing. A friend lost a baby shortly into the first term, my mom died and last week my best friend died, accumulated grief is a weight to bear. my friends at work a close group of pals really. we dine together and work together and party together. we share. the hardest thing to share is living with grief. i don’t think you ever live through it, i think it’s always with you.
a card she handed me . my colleague who i respect and know she has her own set of stuff. the close group at work signed it. they signed the one for my mom just three-month ago. im not over that. writing a blog helps get out that stuff. that weighted feeling. that derailment found with a picture or a song on the radio.
i feel others stuff more than most feel others. i hold it in and own it like it where mine. it grows now there is so much grief……yet there is a solid core. a center that is un movable and a help. its Jesus. He alone has dealt with grief and it really he that my universe circles around. he will lend me and carry. i know. yet i am not a stoic christian that thinks emotion is weakness. i am more give me a beer and yes grief i am in yes i am His. my identity is not on how i live it’s who i am when i live. it’s the reality that i know there is a bigger picture a real purpose in this worn out world of trouble. the one who created it came to save it through its groaning