An only son of a handicapped women. A women who had to adjust going from and athletic college educated, 21-year-old to a social miss fit.
then i came along. Her pride and joy and physical victory, for being able to have a child in the first place. I was her support as she stumbled with her limp. I was the grunt doing the harder tasks. this was my growing up relationship.
Later, I was the assurance she didn’t fail. I became the forgiver, the one to quote scripture to one who doubted her salvation, the one who sang to her and prayed with her.
Now she is no longer on this planet as we know it, but with Jesus. And we two have a different relationship. From my perspective its a big void. It’s a reframing of guilt for what I didn’t do, Its peace in knowing the big picture, It’s a big void, Its remembering in memorial in blogs, heralding her life and finding out those details i never knew. Its getting ambushed in sobs by a song or a noise.
Working through grief is reframing the relationship, part of the new normal.
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