Describe a memory or encounter in which you considered your faith, religion, spirituality — or lack of — for the first time.
It’s at first hard to remove considering my faith from religion,or maintaining a proper church edicate, aka the law. My faith is the reality of knowing the gospel for the first time. It’s not the first time I became a church member, or said a prayer at my mothers beckoning, or even being baptised-even dunked, or even taking communion.
I was well into adult hood, served as an elder in two churches, visited inmates in prison, taught Sunday schools and bible studies, before I really understood that I was being a law pharisee , playing church and not understanding my sin, and Gods deep love.
The gospel is what tears me up when we sing hymns and worship songs. No matter how off tune or repetitive the songs are. when the lyrics point me to the cross as I search out my many acts of selfish lust and lawless rebellion. I see my self dirty and loved because I now know I can’t do anything to gain Gods love, It’s already been done , no matter how bad I now am, by Jesus, on the cross.
I don’t want to sound text book or give out christian jargon, I am trying to be real. In the very act of my disobedience he is loving me because he already did it, paid for it.
Do you love Jesus? He asked. The question started the ball rolling in my head, I was 37.becoming an elder. I lost my job at 45, I was so angry at God, how could I be of use if I had no income. the stirring wheel got allot of abuse. We moved to the city I heard the gospel at street level, no duty attached. . I was 55. I know now the complete work of Jesus.
More and more I realize the tension of slavery to addictions vs being a son, experiencing Christ’s righteous robe, as I rest adopted. The tension of sun, the very longing of what I would rather be doing is more alive now but nothing I can do can clean it away, only Jesus, he paid for it a long time ago.