Finding self in a pond

I was building my first pond. A back yard water feature big enough to swim in. Equipped with a water fall and short stream. it was a refuge for the client and the builder.

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I got the job just as I was starting as a grower for Creek Hill Nursery. This was fortunate because it proved a resource of  labor to rock it. A process of me in the pond and a line of four guys heaving rocks to me. Softball , bowling ball and basket ball sizes.
I arranged the rocks on shelves I previously shaped under the rubber liner.I even dug impressions for water lilies to be set.

For me, this exercise of creativity and muscles ,  bore a healing satisfaction. It was the summer when Pink came out with Mirror. Her lyrics resonated with my own war with myself. “I wanna be somebody else…..im a hazard to myself. …every day I fight a war against the ….person starin back at me”. I was listening to the radio when she was going to be interviewed.  Working near my red Ford pickup, so I could hear when they finally got to the interview. The dj at the time was, in my opinion a meathead. He concluded the interview wiith the question to her, “do you believe I am a god.” pink misunderstood the question, after all who would ask such a thing. She thought he asked if there was a god. So she answed something like This, 
“considering the beauty of nature there must be a god.” I loved her as a performer ever since.

Five years prior;I left a comfotable paying job, because of my disgust of my supervisor having an affair. Only to be scraping at odd jobs like painting, lanscaping, patios and ponds. Now was the start of the end of this drought of money and self worth.

The labor from my new job where a family of Cambodian brothers. They passed the rocks to me, as I placed them, building a 3 foot wall on the sides. Selecting rocks for a natural look. Colorfull ones that would be easily viewed.  Round ones where water ran over to give a weathered look. The brothers enjoyed this , watching and perticipating in this hole becoming a work of functional art.  Between the large rocks went gravel sized rock. No rubber lining was to be viewed.  All the rock came from a Susquehanna quarry over an hour away. It was native and colorful.

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The work took a couple evenings. After all the rock was set in place it gets washed and the rinsed water is pumped out by sump .

During the five years of unsettled employment I had many interviews,  but no Was always the answer.My self worth was deeply challenged.  I did an exercise of writing out my working accomplishments. A good pat on the back, but no groceries.

The creatively of water fall and stream was next. The objective is to make it look as natural as can be.using weathered and round rocks, And descending shelves. With pockets of water, pools for sound.

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Creatively, art, sound and color feed the soul like nothing else. Just the sight of a bird or the stillness in a forest,  listening to the rustle of wind in leaves, To me, always proclaimed God. All these soul inputs feed the emptiness.  They push away allot of negative thought patterns. 

Beauty and order come from shaping the depths  of your inmost fabric.

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Perennial plant propogator for Creekhill nursery. Over 40 years of experience with lots of plants from foliage, cut flowers, seasonal potted plants, annuals and perennials. A plant geek and nerd, i am

Posted in journal, random thoughts, religion, resolutions, true christian response, Warrior Poet, work place

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