Soul…sidewalk

I’m walking snow covered to the bus. Pass my car that has a hard time on flat snowy roads. Identifying with so many, that walk the ice patchy snow covered uneven walks, just to get to a store, prescription bus stop and work.

Guys going to career link to spin wheels looking for work. With their age and criminal record there’s no real hope, yet the “you can make it and be what you want” industry demanded they show up daily.
Guys checking the trash cans for aluminum cans, guys looking for a CIG butt with a puff or two b.
Snow covered pop into “sq one” for a cup, really to use the bathroom. It was locked with an occupant that was declaring squatters rights.
Off to bus station hopefully there allowing bath room use. The rooms have been messed up so they stopped the use. Phew, got in. Its hard to find a quick invisible corner in the alleys in the daytime and bright white snow.
The dampness seeps in the coat giving my muscles and bones an ice treatment.
Green tea from sq one to the rescue., only 15 min till bus if its on time.
Wish I had a good smoke. Just to pass the fidgeting off to a form of fire and taste. And to focus the dream.
The dream gets lost so quickly. A darn vapor. Noise level at bus stop is rising more people. Ugh. All types all levels.. the dream.
Sometimes my dream surfaces. Being a plant geek, enjoying just looking at plants..pruning, planting, organizing.
Then something gets said, my inner hurt feeds the inner voice that feeds the lies to the soul. Martin Lloyd Jones wrote about it in “SpiritualDepression”.
The Bible talks about it.,..God being bigger then the thoughts that condemn valid The dream is close at church. Or rightly said when I actually get to hear a sermon and worship. The dream is close, for me, when I’m having a beer with a buddy I can be transparent with, and who is also transparent with me, (a must). Its close in the most intimate moment.

What’s the dream? Confidence mixed with contentment …..makes all those voices quiet. Increasing the reason for living valid, and making life worth it for at least a moment.

Living the dream in PA

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Perennial plant propogator for Creekhill nursery. Over 40 years of experience with lots of plants from foliage, cut flowers, seasonal potted plants, annuals and perennials. A plant geek and nerd, i am

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Posted in depression, journal, life over 50, old age, religion, resolutions, Uncategorized
2 comments on “Soul…sidewalk
  1. em7dove says:

    This should be published, poetic!

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