There is a point of awareness that comes in times of , well just weekly, to early, yet the mind is far from slumber.
Awaken to questions and inner peril. I could play church and tell you I awaken to great moments of deep devotion and prayer. But really its more like how much sinning did I really just do.
Lately Romans 1 has been a support. Actually The Gospel is the support. It says that even as a sinner mercy is extended. Even knowing I am still bound to fail daily. “The righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith.” not a faith by me that is continually contingent on my doing things that are building it. but a faith built on the faith of Jesus’ of committing himself to the Father.
Psalms 73 Asaph had slipped almost. In attitude or cynicism.” When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked to the heart.” expressive of the tension when the clay jar just cant figure out why its on this shelf. Yet there is contentment in the craftsman’s signature impressed in the vessel.