parked in

the door closes in my brief moment of making “it” right. left yet again in my introverted insecurities i fail to meet my own or anybodies expectation.

i get so mad at drivers who feel its their duty to direct traffic at stop signs. i honk in madness. then i realize my phone is missing. call my phone i ask, where was i last. o hasten to the scene . at the counter it was found some one picked it of the road and walked it in. o it could have been. so much worse.

sleep comes as it does now with a shiver and and wish. but i close the door. why am i me? cant i see. fire place fire in the morning flashes warmth, aaahh.

100 pushups blood flowing. walk to bus a simple breeze.

dogs growl, what ?

is this my emotion journal? are there those that really wonder at the time?  in drive bring it to the road ahead, the heart spirit my come latter.

warrior poet? na just a punk in grey


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Posted in bus commute, depression, journal, life over 50, old age, random thought, Warrior Poet

Pearl drops

Son therapist. 

Sunshine, as morning arrives, glance at the first light.while the sun is low enough not to hurt the eyes. 

Therapy for a torn soul. Eyes the window of the soul. Light from the source will raise the joy and bridge the cassims of broken dreams.

The source of light, the source of life. Shining into the soul exposing all told.

Darkness slips, to shadows that hide. Will there be a time shadows are no more. 

Don’t go light! 

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speckled hens

this era of time called old age is a fight of sanity.

those things held as canon are torched if miss aligned from their respective reality. such as i don’t smoke or drink because i’m a christian. christian prison some call it. the miss alignment comes from a wrong concept of bible truth. i’m saved only by gods grace through the redemptive sacrifice and resurrection of his son Jesus. am i mad at god?

loneliness is a quick moving fog over the internal landscape of reason. the fast pace life of making a difference, of child rearing of business or educational pursuits….stop at a stop sign of why. Now what?

pains in the body when movement was effortless erode confidence in normal activities of walking , running is off the table! how much icy/hot ointment will it take?

patience, have you talked to my steering wheel lately? petty annoyance from the stupids all around me leave me wondering if i’m the only normal? then maybe they are and i’m not?

are answers, perspective, true understanding only after the grave?





Posted in depression, journal, light, random thoughts, religion, Warrior Poet


Joy killing brain intoxicated chain.

Blame it on my geans . Na

It’s my own damn fault.

Hank Williams  country singers they have something

Joy..happiness a gift from God. Is it that I’m not seaped into His person?

Physical pain, cloudyness, no affermation ……it’s the human side.

Chance hello and chat, on the sidewalk, bring a spark a connection. That’s lifting. Making breakfast for my wife that’s lifting.

Exhausted exhausted exhausted….throw me a rope!

Read your Bible you fool. Says the voice. My …toxic person s affected my spirit so quickly.

My wife stobility my weather vein . My relief..

Rain. Plants . insects. Soil. Work. …..pleasure.

I don’t care if I don’t spell right .

Lament with me o church of Christ, my joy  is gone in worship, handcuff fed by sin.

Epilogue ……my joy is growing, identifying the locust , ( Joel chapter one). the stage and depth….learning lament and repentance. and just keep your head above water.

Posted in depression, grief, journal, life over 50, old age, random thoughts, religion, true christian response

good Fri

This is Joel

Good Friday lesson alone with Dutchman breaches.

This is the time the captives are free.

Our savior alone doing his father’s will. Bringing his church to freedom.

Let your light so shine before men.

Jonah over people he didn’t am I so to be?

Ephemeral plants Cascades on a baron slopes. 

Habacuk watch tower over injustice.

He’s in the grave preaching to the dead. Me

Reserection hope.

Watch wait my grace is sufficient

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How the West Was Won by Melinda


So I just finished watching ‘The West’, the documentary by Ken Burns. I have watched probably an inordinate amount of KB documentaries in the past year because I had the time on my hands. I started watching this one because somewhere in the gun control chatter I said., “How the West was Won.” and that truly has something to do with it, but it is even larger. KB does not gloss over much, or play French horn triumph music in the background. In fact the theme music for this one was an Indian chant, the sound a little foreign to my Western Civilization ears.   I have three words for  how the West was won: treachery, greed , and arrogance. And guns of course. I was going to say treachery, treachery and treachery, and it all seems the same. Not much else. There are appalling government sanctioned  and…

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As I read the apostle Paul you are a church planter! Never think your a failure. 

You took the gospel of Jesus Christ to the people of the neighborhood,culture and economic status that was indigenous to the block the church met.

Your service didn’t look like the service in Jerusalem, or the parent. Church that sent you.. the service serviced the people that walked by, literally, our windows and came in. Hallelujah.

The Lord surrounded you with people who where open to learn about and live within the “neighborhood of the church building”.

You tutored us, we met and engaged conversation and prayer for and about that neighborhood.

You touched hearts in the town square, in the prison, and on the side walks. Biking your way from block to block, eagerly showing the gospel works in relationships and through freindships.

That’s what you reenforced to us your core. Freindships like the Book of Ruth show us. Cross culturally, from differing people groups and culture, the gospel eroades biased, mean  historical narratives and economic difference. And replaces with a kinsman Redeemer.

Thank-you for teaching us, preaching to us, befriending us, challenging us and leading us.

Thank-you Clifford Stanley Morton

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Posted in life over 50, random thoughts, religion, true christian response, Warrior Poet

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