Huddle please

Teams need to huddle to make all the parts work effectively. So do business and church or any place people are gathered to do a function. Profit or non we need to have a leader and a plan from the leader to get all the points of the team to work more efficiently.

No one is an island in the word team. We know our jobs, but a huddle enables the tackles the running backs …all positions to know the play the driving force of that down. I like hockey so why am I using football metaphors?.

Burn out symptoms, I got. Insomnia, cynical, exhausted, Anger,

Mondays are everyday.

Posted in depression, journal, managment, random thoughts, religion, Warrior Poet, work place


Just so you’ll know  o Theophilus. 

I was stratagizing about all the cool workouts I was going to do. I love lifting weights. So now I’ve a nother plan. I’m gaining resolve to go at it. 

Then as if God said “right!” A knot in my lower lumbar, struck me with a pain and immobility I could hardly lift my leg to get up the stairs to collapse in bed. 

Its day three now. It’s a bit better, I’ve been using a foam roller, melinda has been applying oelbas ointment, I ve been trying to stretch. But can’t sit long and standing hurts. Missed outing with my cousin missed church. Missing work. 

Going to the chiropractor today.

Posted in depression, fitness, journal, life over 50, muscular atrophy, old age, random thoughts, sports injury


It shouldn’t be blue or red. It aways appears to be on a crusade.

Will it stop? We need a rename a reintroduction.

We suffer by placing tags on people, are you in our click or are you one of us beleiver?  We engage in pegging people and dismissing people. Do we?

We shoot our wounded, an elder told me once. Men’s groups to me have been nothing more then a personality types pushing an agenda , not beconing us fringe types in, but suggesting we get a job or get counseling.

The gospel is Jesus the son of God, and son of man, reconciled me to God the Father, because God loves me.

I’ve been taught covertly that the doctrines are how one gauges the gospel. Rather then looking at doctrine from the gospel.

I’m not a Christian by who I vote for, or what denomination I attend, or even if I where to miraculously not sin.

What will the church look like in 15 years? Will it be totally dismissed as relevant? As it almost is now.

I am a Christian because I cling to what Jesus did. Period.

What is church to you?

Posted in Uncategorized

church stuff

he said its not working. this way of getting a church to grow. if you build they will come…motto of church congregational increase. …..what was the first clue? is church relevant to the populates? no.

what is? the love of Jesus! the people; the people that can only breath in the context of Jesus love. that’s what makes the difference.

then those people in the community can over flow that love to others.

the problem and fear most of us Christians see is the lack of biblical knowledge that is permeating the society we live in. knowledge of a a communion..the savior breaking bread with sinners like me.

only when the congregants see that they are just like them can there be a revival. a relevance to church and its place in a community.

Posted in random thoughts, religion, true christian response


As I was driving my car to pick up my Amish freinds I was considering all the Amish communities turmoil over the last year’s. 

Two guys and I meet for coffee and encouraging words from each other.we talk of Gods mercy. we share what’s happening in our lives ups and downs. They are a couple of genuine brothers in Christ. And there Amish.

Turmoil in the form of children being murdered, family falsely accused of harming a child which proved to be a vitamin deficiency, cancer, death, having to be asked about their supposed mafia,depression and more.

How do they cope? My friends response is one of reliant on Jesus. 

Their community isn’t that different from others. There’s believers in Jesus’s sole ability to save and keep and others who plain feel they have to purge themselves and make themselves pure before God.

Is there an evangelist for the Amish? My mentor asked many years ago knowing I was moving here. I thought of my grandmother who I think thought, or conveyed to me anyway that cleanliness is godliness and we should all be pure like the Amish.

I’ve been to their funerals, weddings and have interacted with a few. When we go have dinner with our Amish freinds I do value the time as a reality check.

I don’t feel everyone who is not like me religious ly is not saved. I did think that at a time. It’s not my job to save anyone. It’s my job to exhibit Jesus myself so He can work in others around me.

Pursue friendship’s with people different from yourselves.its a good thing.

Posted in Uncategorized


gasping for air

Overwhelmed by affection when I feel so low lost destroyed and unreachable.

It starts with really not caring if church happens for me or not. It dissolved in the first song. My inner distrust of myself. Singing with others taken up in song lyric, in the instruments plucking strumming and tapping…….vibrates through my body cleansing it by its rhythmic powers.

I don’t understand , but I believe, how I can be loved by a God who knows my every thought is evil,and selfish.

First John spells it out now in a sermon. Fellowship always needs to include sameness, love in a shared purpose. As we sang the first song it get revealed when I see the hands go up. The swaying to the tune the visable singing out with closed eyes.
Intimate, joy and peace. Our world is not redeemed around us. disappointed we still will get, … the people…

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Posted in Uncategorized

doing church

It’s not like I’m switching denominations. It’s that I’m responding to the gospel anew. 

Spending 42 years in a reformed and Presbyterian denomination has taught me valuable lessons on approaching the scripture has a whole. Being aware of history and how doctrine is understandable and necessary. And over all answering a question of purpose.

Handling burnout is a challenge. Spending the last eight or so years in an urban church plant, stretched us all. Our stereotypical tendencies brought forward to be smashed by a real gospel. A time in my life when I end up doing more stuff in church then I should. A time where there are no little people is played out in relational diaconal work. Where God’s mercy is bigger then my up turned nose.

Trinity Lutheran Church surprised me. Stepping out of a safe reformed and Presbyterian is scary. Will I find proper handling of Scripture,or false doctrine, or people shallow in their world life veiw as it relates to God’s Providence?

What I am finding is allot of what I’ve been longing for since my friend Tim died;  real people excepting dialogue, out side an institutional box. 

A service slightly different each week, filled with hymns ,literagy,kneeling and air-conditioning. A service attached to the church calendar and yet spontaneous with current events responses.

We have visited almost ten times and have been refreshed in the spirit, each time. 

It’s being shown Jesus, in scensory ways of music,responsive reading,kneeling at communion,responding to a somewhat scripted yet personality infused service. It’s also being challenged to preach the gospel to myself. It’s hearing the word. And being shown Jesus. 

Don’t get me wrong these elements where there at the presbyterian church. Yet the intensionally built service and the drawing of participants within the service wasn’t. The burn out causes a wall to go up to actually being able to worship! That’s the problem.

I long for the Gospel daily to be in fussed into each moments structure and to be real in my mind. Each church can supply that, However God is using a Lutheran Church to show me himself, to challenge my denominational preconceived notions.

I’m 60, some times I want to get back to the garden real bad.

Posted in Uncategorized

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December 2017
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